Dignity in Detention Testimonies

They shipped me from state to state... without even telling me where I was going or why my legal authorization was suddenly invalid. I should have been judged by a court in Massachusetts. That is where I live, that is where I am married to a United States citizen.

Instead, I was flown to El Paso in an unmarked plane. Handcuffed and chained from head to toe… I even had chains around my waist as if I were a wanted criminal when I have no criminal record and was never even told why I was arrested. It was ridi ulous. My wife had no idea where I was, and I had no way of reaching out to her. They kidnapped me.

The US government says they are against kidnapping and human trafficking. I wish I could tell them that what they are doing to me feels like kidnapping and trafficking.

I felt terrible and was in complete shock. I was chained from head to toe and forced to get on a plane. I criedthe entire time because I always
dreamed that I would travel on a plane. I had never been on one. I came to this country to study and work. I thought I would save up enough to fly to Disneyland with my brother. That sounds stupid now. I don’t know that I will ever be able to fly again. I was handcuffed, hands and feet, with chains around my waist. The cuffs were so tight they left marks on my body. I couldn’t move and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was being kidnapped. I did not know where I was going, and they refused to answer any questions. That was my first time on a plane. My brother had no idea where I was. I could not call him until a week after I got to El Paso.

I wanted answers. I wanted to know where they were taking me, so I asked the agents who were forcing us on the plane where I was going. One agent got very angry at me, he called me a “dirty, criminal immigrant” and told me I did not deserve his answers. I responded that I had a right to know where I was being taken. He pushed me to the ground and twisted my right arm really hard. I felt a sharp pain on my shoulder. He threatened to take me to federal prison if I did not get on the plane and pulled me back up. I think he dislocated my shoulder. I asked to see a doctor when I got here but never received help.

I have never felt racism the way I have felt it inside this camp. When I first got here the guards told me, “When you get to El Paso, Texas, there’s no going back. You’re only getting out deported or dead.” 

"I sometimes look at my bed sheets, and I wonder if it would be easier to hang myself instead of trying to survive this torture. I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling. I feel forgotten. People have died here and no one cares. I’ve gone a month without seeing the sun.... I am forced to live in filth.... I have been taken from my family, from my home, and I know that no matter how long they keep me here, they will end up deporting me. I'm so afraid I will get killed once I am sent back. That is why I left. I can’t sleep most nights, that’s when I have the hardest time."

When we asked if he had sought or been referred to mental health care at Camp East Montana, Ismael said that he had been taken to the onsite counselor a handful of times. He said the counselor prescribed sleeping pills, told him to engage in breathing exercises, and to visualize his “happy place” when he had trouble sleeping or experienced anxiety.

“What good does it do to imagine a ‘happy place’? How absurd for a supposed medical professional to suggest that I could close my eyes, take deep breaths, and escape my reality when I am forced to survive here. When my reality is probably going end with my death in my home country. Sleeping pills won’t fix that.”

I am a veterinarian. I understand how animals should be treated and cared for. I know that animals are treated much better than how they treat us here. If an animal under my care gets sick, it has care and medicine readily available. It has sufficient food to sustain itself, it has the space it needs, it is cared for and looked after. Our situation by contrast is repressive. If we get sick, no one listens or cares. We do not have enough food to sustain healthy bodies. We live in cramped, dirty spaces and we’ve often gone weeks without seeing the sun. We are intentionally disregarded, left to rot.

With no windows and limited access to outdoor recreation, detained people described losing any sense of time inside the tents.

"I never know what day or what time it is. I’m always disoriented. There is no clock in the dorm… there is nothing. It is humiliating what they are doing to us."

People sleep on narrow bunk beds, often with little personal space or privacy. They are provided a thin mattress, two bed sheets, and a single blanket. People in detention said that the blanket, made of a recycle material resembling plastic, caused skin irritation, rashes, and allergic reactions, and shed visible fibers.

“The blankets here are terrible. Mine has pieces of wire, like the kind on sponges used to scrub dishes, and it has plastic threads that felt like fishing line.”

"The food they give us here is usually expired or still frozen, the meals we get are like TV meals. I have bitten into meals that were not fully cooked many times. The portions are also very small, they are not suitable for adults."

Detainees reported losing drastic amounts of weight, in some cases they estimated that they lost up to 30 pounds (13.5 kilograms), due to insufficient portions and inadequate nutrition. Others who received regular meals said the high sodium content worsened existing health conditions.

Guards have failed to distribute his meals on more than seven occasions. The day before we interviewed him, Ricardo did not receive lunch. He said that when he asked where his meal was the guards told him they ran out of bland diets and would call for more. His meal never arrived. Ricardo told us he asked for food again at 5:00 p.m. and was told “we already told you we don’t have any food for you” by a guard. He was eventually served a moldy baguette for dinner, which he saw as a punishment for speaking up.

Since my detention, I have experienced many delays and denials with my medications. I was initially placed in the hielera [freezing holding cell] when I got here. Despite informing staff of my medications, they were not given to me. A doctor attempted to see me but could not manage my medications. I experienced high blood pressure and bodily tremors during this period. I was informed by medical staff that I could not see a cardiologist at this facility and would need a specialist. Staff advised increasing my dosage... but my doctor had told me in the past that high doses were not safe for me.

Over the last two weeks, I have experienced high blood pressure episodes, bodily tremors, and weakness. Staff repeatedly attributed these symptoms to stress. I was sent to a psychologist despite my insistence that I was physically unwell. I signed up to see a doctor for eight consecutive days and still did not receive care. A nurse who distributes food initially refused to help with my medication, stating that if I was not on the list, it was not her issue. Eventually, another nurse intervened, provided my medication for that day, and gave a referral to an outside clinic to make sure I got care.

Despite repeated requests, my medication is still not available on a regular schedule. They sometimes say they don’t have it at all. On December 18, they told me my medication was ordered, but [days later] I have still not received it. Guards did not prioritize or understand the medical consequences of delaying my medications. I have requested testing and evaluation by a cardiologist. Staff informed me that all they could do was maintain me in a stable condition until my deportation.

The first thing the doctor tells us is, “We have more than 4,000 people to attend to here, please be patient. Unless you have a serious emergency, practically one where you are about to die, we won’t treat you.”

There is no law for us. They can yell at us and humiliate us. We are afraid, one cannot speak up.... This country does not protect anybody, they are killing us.

The goal here is to force us to live in fear and to give up. If you want to fight your case, you have to endure injustice and abuse.

The guards beat us. When one person speaks up for themselves, they take it out on all of us. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t done anything wrong. They beat you just for insisting on getting your rights, food, or medicine when you don’t get it. They run into our pod in groups of 15, sometimes it looks like 20. They are dressed in all black, wear masks that cover everything but their eyes and don’t wear nametags. When they come, they just run in, grab whoever they can and start to beat them. They do not ask questions or try to deescalate situations.

It’s clear to me that they’re trying to make a point. The point is they are in control and can do whatever they want with us. They can humiliate us, beat us, laugh at us, and nothing will happen to them. They tell us, “You’re an immigrant, this is not your country.” Sometimes we’re beaten and punished just for existing in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have been in the hole for 17 days now. The papers they gave me say I interceded in a fight and attacked an officer. This is not true, so I have not signed it.

I have told them so many times to review the cameras, there are cameras in the rooms. Just look at the cameras. I did not attack anyone. I got up and sat back down after I got yelled at. After my first three days in the hole, I got a paper that said I would be punished for 30 days. I have sent requests and complaints to ICE about this, to try to appeal the punishment. I have no response. I am locked in a small room by myself for a month with no answers and for no reason other than they felt like it and know they can.

I didn’t get breakfast that day. Our lunch is usually distributed at noon. By 1:30 p.m. the guards had not handed our meals out. Our meals were ready, the guards placed the food cart in front of us and were refusing to serve it. I protested verbally, I told them I was hungry and that I was human. I needed food. They ignored me so I kicked the metal door out of desperation. About 15 officers from the disturbance control team reacted. A lieutenant grabbed me by the shirt and slammed me to the ground. Six officers restrained me with my face down. I still have severe pain in my ear and in my right collarbone. They also stomped on my neck. At 31 years old, I have never seen death until that day. I thought they were going to kill me.

On or around October 17, 2025, I turned off a light on the way to the yard. That is what triggered an altercation with an officer who spoke Spanish. The officer started insulting me, and I sat down on the floor. After that, he called the second officer, and they had an exchange in English that I did not understand. Then both of them tried to cuff me. I didn't know why they were trying to cuff me. Then the rest of the officers started piling onto me and using their bodies to block the security camera. Blocking the camera with their bodies is a tactic I have seen them do before with other detained people.

Then, the officers body-slammed me and started to beat me. My front right tooth broke from the force of being slammed to the ground. Then, even more officers came. One of the officers grabbed my testicles and firmly crushed them. An officer forced his fingers deep into my ears. Since then, I have had a lot of trouble hearing out of my left ear. I can't hear as well now.

After cuffing me, the officers pulled my fingers back very painfully, almost to the point that it felt like my fingers might break. The officers continued beating me. An officer then started punching into the side and front of my mouth at which point I bit down on it. I was in so much pain and I still have marks from the incident on my body....

After a while, the officers stopped beating me. Then an officer held me up against the wall. I was dizzy and fighting to remain conscious. An officer started laughing at me quite a bit and making fun of the fact that I had chipped my tooth when I had been slammed to the ground. The guard told me I was like a little girl. Then, I believe three guards took me to the medical tent. My consciousness faded in the medical tent. When I regained consciousness, I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

On December 1, the guards came into my pod to do a check and found random pills on the floor near my bed. Without even asking me, they began to accuse me of hiding pills and selling them to other detainees. They tried to force me out of my bed, but I did not want to leave. I asked them to check cameras because the pills were not mine. I never even touched them. They did not care. They yanked me out of bed and folded my arms behind my back to handcuff me. They rushed me out of the pod to take me to SHU. I asked to see the captain because they were accusing me of smuggling pills and of selling them and I did not want to be punished. I kept telling them they were not mine.

They got angry and shoved my head against the wall. I overheard someone on the radio make a demand for the cameras to be turned off. This command caused me severe nerves and anxiety. I felt like throwing up and my legs instantly fell asleep. They did not care, they took me to SHU. I asked to see a doctor at SHU because I had an anxiety attack and convulsions. I told them I could not breathe and could not feel my feet. SHU agents kept saying I was lying and did not want to give me medical care. After about an hour and a half, I could not breathe or feel my legs. They brought in a small inhaler to help me breathe and had to carry me out of SHU and to the medic in a little bed.

The showers are in terrible condition. Out of six, two have been broken for two months and the remaining four are shared by 60 to 70 people. They smell awful, the drains are always clogged, and water constantly pools on the floor. One person is developing a foot fungus because there are no shower shoes, and his request for them has not been addressed.

The toilets are even worse [than showers]. In our pod, we designated two for urine and the other four are shared among everyone else. The smell of urine and feces is constant and disgusting. Cleaning is very rare. We are lucky if the room is cleaned once a week and when they do clean, they don’t touch the bathrooms. A man in my pod sometimes tries to scrub the toilets with a [used] toothbrush, no gloves.

At best, people said the guards allowed them to borrow a broom and a mop to keep their pods clean. The guards did not provide detergent or other cleaning supplies. When detained people raised concerns about having to clean the facilities themselves with limited supplies they were told by guards, “If you want to smell like shit, smell like shit—it is not our responsibility to clean your cells.”

The facility often does not provide soap and hand sanitizer, leaving people unable to wash their hands properly after using the toilet, before eating, or throughout the day. Most people we interviewed said facility staff gave them a single small packet of 2 in 1 shampoo per day, which many used as sparingly as possible to be able to clean their hands and wash their clothes. In some cases, facility staff failed to distribute packets of shampoo for over a week, forcing detained people to clean their bodies using only water.

We once went 3 weeks without receiving a toothbrush, we had some toothpaste, but it was scarce, and we had to ration it among 70 people. We asked for toothbrushes daily during this time… The toothbrushes they give us are disposable, they cause bleeding gums and swelling. They are not good for more than one use, so going three weeks with one of those is impossible.

Between August and September, I went a month without seeing the sun. The guards were just not taking us outside. The people in my unit were all becoming anxious and desperate with nothing to do. I felt trapped, it was torture. When we reached our breaking point, we gathered at the entrance of our cell and hit the metal doors and yelled, “Yarda, yarda, yarda!” We needed to be let out to the yard. We had to do this a couple times before we were taken outside. We still have to do this to be taken outside weekly.

Most of our time is spent locked inside the cell. There are no education programs, no religious gatherings. All we have is a TV that people fight over. There is a recreational schedule pasted on the walls of the cell, but the guards do not follow it. They say it is because there is no one who can take us outside, that they are missing personnel. We recently went three weeks without going outside. We were finally taken outside for about an hour last Saturday. It’s been a week and we have not been taken outside to see the sun since.

On September 22, I was woken up by a group of guards around midnight and told I was being transferred to another detention center. Two guardspulled me from my bunk bed and escorted me to the hallway. I was immediately chained with cuffs on my hands and feet. I could hardly move because the cuffs were so tight. I was rushed out of the tent and rounded up in a dirt lot with about 15 other men, mostly Cuban, with three or four Venezuelans. We were all forced onto an unmarked bus. It all happened so fast, I was disoriented and felt like I was being kidnapped.

When I asked the guards where I was being taken, they yelled at me to be quiet. The bus drove for one to two hours. As time passed without any answers, I became very worried and stressed. I felt as though I couldn’t breathe and was going to faint. Eventually, the bus stopped. At that point, the guards told us we were at the border, they ordered us to get off the bus and cross the street to get on another bus that would take us to Mexico. I am not Mexican, I never signed a deportation to Mexico, and I never even had the chance to talk to a judge.

I told the guards that I had not signed my deportation and asked to see a deportation paper. They refused. So I refused to get off and board the other bus. The guards told me that if I did not leave, I would be charged as a criminal and imprisoned. They said, “Your country won’t take you; leave now or we’ll lock you up for life.” I told them I am Cuban, I have no ties to Mexico, and I am afraid of being deported there because I was kidnapped by a Mexican cartel in the past.

After some time, the guards gave up and stopped trying to force me to leave. Some men did cross into Mexico, I imagine they were afraid of the threats. The rest of us, about four of us, refused to get off the bus and were taken back to Texas.

What they did was lie to us, because they told us we were going to be taken to other detention centers. Had I known that they were trying to force us to cross to Mexico again, I would have refused to leave my bed. I never agreed or signed my deportation to Mexico. I told them this many times.

When we got to the border crossing, there was one bus on the U.S. side and one bus on the Mexico side. I was on the bus on the U.S. side. The bus on the Mexican side is for those who go to Mexico to go farther in. The 12 people at the front of the bus got off. I have not seen them again. Approximately seven masked men who looked like military men, but without badge numbers showed up. They got onto the bus that I was still on. When they couldn't succeed in intimidating me and the others who were still on the bus, they left. I was later brought back to the unit where they continued threatening me about taking me to another country. These threats feel like mental torture.

Approximately a week ago, guards told me that Cuba will never accept me, but Mexico will accept me. They told me if I don't sign the document, they would send me to a prison in the heart of Arizona and that I'd have four months in prison and then they would send me to Mexico anyway.

On a day approximately September 15-17, 2025, the guards used force against me because they tried to take me to Mexico and I told them I don't want to be taken there. The guards came into my housing unit and told me I was going to be deported. When I asked them where, they told me I will be taken to Mexico. I told them “no,” at which point those guards left. However, they came back with about 30 other guards. Outside in the hallway, the guards started beating on me.

The guards hit my head. They slammed it against the wall approximately 10 times. They squeezed and twisted my ankles. The guards also grabbed and crushed my testicles between their fingers, which was very painful and humiliating. I felt like I was being sexually assaulted. After the guards slammed my head against the wall, I had severe pain behind my ears. I couldn't even touch the left side of my head for about a month because of the pain…

From there they took me with about 20 people on a bus to what they said was Mexico… A guard told us that our countries don't accept us, so Mexico is a good option and that if don't want to go to Mexico then we would either be sent to a jail cell in El Salvador or to Africa. They tried to pressure us to go to Mexico by threatening us in these ways. Then, after I refused to go to
Mexico, they brought me back on the bus. Just two people came back on the bus with me: a Nicaraguan man, and another Cuban man. The rest went to Mexico.

When I refused to leave the room, a guard grabbed me and slammed me down and it hurt me so much that I had pain on my back for approximately two weeks. The guard beat me just because I was refusing to be cuffed and taken to Mexico. The guards also beat several other people. The guards threw me against the floor and approximately 4-5 guards came down on me until they cuffed me. This caused pain to the back of my head.

Then, the guards took me on a bus with approximately 13 people to a part of the border called St. Teresa. My wrists and ankles were cuffed. They put a sort of iron belt around my waist and attached my cuffed wrists to it. I continued to feel a lot of pain because they had slammed me against the floor. The bus ride took approximately 40 minutes… When we arrived at what I understand to be St. Teresa, the guards took off our metal cuffs and
put plastic cuffs on us.

The area was on what appeared to be a large hill and it seemed high enough that my ears started to clog like when on an airplane. There were other people there who were wearing black masks on their faces with only a hole for their eyes. They told us to walk toward the Mexican bus. There was a bus to Mexico on one side and the bus back to the U.S. on the other. I started feeling very anxious at this point and I started yelling and screaming at the immigration guard in Mexico that this is a kidnapping and I don’t want to be taken. The guard from Mexico then said that they don't want anyone who was going to be forced to go to Mexico. If I hadn’t started kicking and screaming at that moment, I believe I might have been taken to Mexico. I was doing everything I possibly could to not be taken to Mexico.

If you have court in the morning, they take you from your room at 9 p.m. the night before. They take you to a small freezing room where there are no beds with at least 20-30 other people, you have to sit up all night. It’s impossible to sleep. They wake you up and take you on a bus at around 4 or 5 a.m. Despite being taken on the bus early, you are forced to wait on a bus for about 3 hours, with the AC on full blast. We have very thin sweaters, and it is the middle of winter, it’s cruel. They don’t start driving the bus until 8 or 8:30 a.m. This means that a lot of us with early court hearings lose our
opportunity to see a judge.

It's almost as if they have a handbook on how to inflict psychological pain. We wait months for our court dates to fight our cases, to defend our positions, and it’s as if they had a handbook on psychological torture because by the time we have court, most want to sign their deportation, people want to give up. I met a man who was taken to court late many times, his chance to see a judge kept getting postponed because of the guards.